Monday, April 18, 2011

I'm different now.

So I was talking to a friend the other day about how things are different now..and I am..different.

I like it.

For the most part.

Different as in:

Everywhere I go I have a little man with me.

Dates include our third family member now. He's a pretty adorable addition.

I am now a wife AND a mother. Sometimes I find it's difficult to be in both roles. I told Brad the other day I struggle to be "on" all the time. Yet...it's a challenge that I love, and thankfully I have an extremely supportive husband, and a baby who smiles at me and makes everything seem perfect.

I am so much more aware of how very thankful I am for our amazing friends and family. I have always been aware of how much they meant to me, I thought...but now..I just realize more and more how much we love and appreciate the amazing people we do life with.

I am so much more aware of my lack of communication with people outside of Brad. :) This is not to say that I have improved all that much but I'm really working on it. I'm really making attempts to call, write, email people within a reasonable amount of time. I feel like I'm slowly but surely improving.

I am much more emotional. I can't decide if this is good or bad. Good in some ways because I find my heart is more tender. Bad in others..because while it may be more tender..I am also more sensitive. I find myself asking Brad if I'm overreacting often.

I am EXTREMELY bothered by what's on TV now. Or not just TV...things I see out in public. I am more aware of the depravity of our world. I am so so so much more aware of the awesomeness of God. I worry and hurt for the pain the little guy will experience. I wonder about things that he might experience due to his sinful nature...and I ache for Jesus to call Noah to himself.

I think about when he's a teenager and I shake in my boots. Oh GOODNESS GRACIOUS.

It's just different. My thought process. But I think it's amazing. I feel like God is really growing and stretching me and I just am so thankful and excited.

Want to know a change that kinda freaks me out? My stomach appears to be a little weaker than it once was. Like the other day I saw something with blood..and I got queasy. Me..the nurse..I got queasy. Little things...I notice things that NEVER would have bothered me..make me a little weak in the knees. This concerns me slightly for when I go back to work. That's just strange. I'm hoping that's just my crazy hormones balancing back out.

Well..that's it for the day. Tomorrow we'll have an update on Noah's two month stats after we have his appointment. I'm excited to see how big he is.

These made me smile today. I set him up in his chair so I could sweep and mop. If you didn't know you'd think he could read :)

And then a sweet sweet smile!
Have a great day!

2 comments:

Preston,Courtney, Callie, Addison and Finn said...

You will never be the same and that is good! Kids make us better and teach us everyday. Hang in there and keep doing your best and relying on the Lord for your strength. You are doing a great job!!!
I love the pics of him reading. Don't feel bad taking time to sit him down and get some work done. He looks perfectly content!! Love ya

Leah said...

Thanks for sharing. I totally understand all that you are talking about. Being a mommy is the hardest transition, but in a good way. And your hormones will level out... I feel like it took me almost a year, but eventually I felt like my normal self again. :)