Witnessed suffering

Yep. Two in a week.

Insomnia has set in.  Actually, sleeping has not been too much of a problem this time, just more getting to sleep.  I would blame that on the daily naps though...oops! :)

The week has improved significantly as it has gone on.

I'm so thankful for that.

Our projects for the week have gone better, and Noah is so excited every day to open the envelope and see what he gets to do.

Tonight Noah and I took cookies we baked to the fire station.  I'm not a baker..which I believe has been documented on this fine blog...but they turned out ok thankfully.  I made Brad taste test them for us before we took them haha.

Anyways, after we dropped those off I told Noah I would take him to see some fun Christmas lights.

*note..I left my phone at home for this adventure*

*History: I have a history of picking up hitchhikers...and Brad and our family have assured me that maybe that was not my wisest decision,

So as we were driving to see the lights, on a backroad that was dark and with only a few houses, I noticed a car stopped on the side of the road.  I didn't think much about it, as I was on the hunt for the house I had heard about.  (Of course I didn't write down the address, or have my phone to look it up hahaha) Noah and I had decided that we clearly weren't on the right track and turned around to head home towards some other Christmas lights we like.  When we turned around, I saw the car that had been previously stopped driving away quickly, and a woman was waving at me.

I knew I didn't have a phone and Noah was in my car...but I just couldn't not stop. She said that her boyfriend was trying to beat her up, and had thrown her phone out of the car.  I stopped and shined my lights so she could find her phone, and offered to take her somewhere.  The boyfriend then came back and he kinda yelled at her and gave her her purse.  She got in the car crying and smoking..and I kinda started panicking.
My thoughts were something along these lines:

 Rachael seriously....she could kill you..
NOAH IS IN THE CAR!!!!
Please, Lord Jesus, Please keep us safe
What are you thinking?!?!
This guy could follow you!
What if he has a gun?
What if she does?
What if she's actually planning to hurt me and doesn't really need a ride?
YOU DON'T HAVE A PHONE YOU MORON!
LORD WHAT WAS I THINKING?!

Seriously. Sheer panic.

But then, my heart just broke for her. She told me they had been together for 5 months, she lives with the guy, he's gotten violent before, and how he's such a great guy he had just gotten a little out of control today after drinking.

Oh friends...this life she was leading. I just didn't have words of comfort or peace.

I wanted to take her to her mom's but she wouldn't go...she wanted to be dropped off at a bar in town..she was going to go back and meet the boyfriend once she "cooled off." She was convinced that since she was meeting up with his family he wouldn't hurt her...and I just wanted to take her to the police.

I didn't have words. I wanted to tell her about Jesus. About a savior who would love her and make her complete in ways she couldn't comprehend.  But the words didn't come.  We talked about the cookies for the fireman, and the Christmas lights, but I couldn't get words about my Jesus out.

I gave her my number and pleaded with her to call me if she ever needed safety. I asked her repeatedly to go to the police or her mother's but not to meet up with him..but she just kept thanking me and then left to go into the bar to wait for her boyfriend.

During all of this time, Noah was quiet in the back. So shy and taking it all in.  As soon as she got out he asked what had happened.  He asked who had hurt her and why we were driving her.  I talked to him, and explained to him as best we could that people are hurt and broken and need our love and help. I tried with what simple words I could come up with to explain that Jesus loves us and we love others....

But oh my heart.  Sometimes I take the peace in our life for granted.  I forget that this peace and comfort of a home with loving parents and more than we need is a gift and something that should be shared. I forget in the hard days of being home with my kiddos, and isolation of feeling lonely here sometimes, and the tired from the day to day..I forget to be open and sacrificial.

So tonight..I'm so thankful for the reminder. Also...not even lying I'm super thankful we're safe...because admittedly it wasn't my wisest moment. I broke down in hysterics when I was confessing to Brad because I knew he would not be happy with my decision to put Noah at risk...he was incredibly gracious..but I couldn't stop laugh/crying while telling him..Noah thought I was crying and kept trying to comfort me. Hahahaha.

Learning. Always learning here.