Confessions

Inspired by a blog post my friend Ellen shared today on the FB...here is a list of confessions.

Sometimes being a mama is hard. But man do I love it. Here's our list:

Noah peed on our couch today. And the pillows. And on me.

I just started two sentences with and. I know that's not really correct. I'm going to do it anyways. And I'll like it. BOOM.

I truly dislike potty training.

Sometimes I feel like all I do in the afternoon is try to get Abby to take a nap.  Then I feel bad because I've missed out on time with her.

My oldest has taken to telling me often "You're not being nice to me" "I don't wanna" "I don't like it" and "I don't love you." It breaks my heart. I love him so much..and we are trying to hard to work on how he speaks. But seriously...where the heck do they learn this stuff?

He cries when he poops. So he refuses to do so on the potty.  I get SO frustrated with this.

I didn't clean my stove after we used it last night. It was seriously gross.

I've taken to only deep cleaning when we have guests.  This is a big deal...because well I love to clean. I LOVE it.  But I'm too tired to mess with it.

Speaking of being tired...I literally want to do nothing else but SLEEP during nap time. So I waste time during that time.

Today I tried to do my quiet time with my Bible while letting Noah have "quiet play time."  WHATEVER.  That was ridiculous. He ended up in time out yelling at me that he didn't love me and didn't want to play with me anymore. I ended up crying out for Jesus to help me.

I'm going to try doing it again tomorrow.  Since Noah was born I have always tried to do my quiet time when he was sleeping...so I could focus.  The thing is...I fully believe he needs to see me reading my Bible.  I also find that if I wait until he sleeps it just doesn't happen. At all.  And that's just completely unacceptable.

Back to the confessions...

I forgot to change Abby's diaper this afternoon after she got up from her nap. Brad commented multiple times on how saggy it was.  Poor sweet girl.

I'm so ready to be done nursing this time...physically...but emotionally I'm not even a little bit ready.

I can't believe a year has gone by since our precious girl was born.

Which means 3 years since Noah was born.

I'm training for a mini marathon but I hate to run. It's going just swimmingly - or horrible - but I'm determined.

Noah has watched so much TV this month I feel like a failure. But also..it's freezing cold outside, and I have run out of ideas for crafts/books/entertainment.

I recently started watching Parenthood on Netflix. It has sucked me in. Makes me cry and everything. I feel the real.

Brad had to cook his own birthday dinner...because by the time I prepped it and picked up Noah from school our friends were already on the way over and the house wasn't cleaned up. So I cleaned up while he cooked.  WIFE. OF. THE. YEAR.

But also...there are some fun confessions:

Abby loves to snuggle. I love it too.

I follow Abby around with a camera all day trying to get a video of her saying mama or dada. No go so far.

She LOVES Brad. So much. It's precious.

I love to do bedtime with Noah..because he asks me to cuddle him, we even have special "spots." We pray, we sometimes read books, we cuddle, we give butterfly kisses and eskimo kisses, he says "I love you so much Mama." I mean OH. MY. WORD. How precious is that.

I think my kids are the cutest things in this whole world.

Abby adores Noah...he adores her..and I adore that. I let him fake cough all through dinner tonight to make her laugh. She totally did.

I think it is so fun to watch Noah grow up. I miss him as my baby. But I mean he's just so smart and cute and I am amazed by him. The things he says crack me up.  His new thing is "It's ok mama, I'm just teasing." Or when he uses words like ottoman and tortilla - yet pronounces blanket as blanquet (like banquet with an l)

Tonight he gave me a pillow and a blanket because I said I was tired. He shows empathy when I'm sad. He protects me when daddy tickles me.  I mean. Melt my heart.

I am so excited to see Abby's little personality shine through more and more as she gets older. So far she's such a mellow little thing. VERY good at self entertaining. Sneaky (which could be trouble) and much quieter than I remember Noah being. Except when she's mad..because until Noah was almost 2 he was never rmad..so this is all new to us. She watches everything Noah does. She's a little stubborn but I'm hopeful that will turn into her being a strong girl.

That's it for tonight. I just...I treasure this time...we treasure this time...we love these little loves.  We're exhausted but gratefully so. Excited for what is ahead.