Who needs sleep.

Not this girl. Apparently.

Noah's barium swallow study is in the morning (not a scope we found out- so glad!) and I can't sleep. I'm not really nervous, it's much less invasive now that I know it's not a scope. But I think I'mostly nervous that it won't show anything. I would really just like some answers.

Or even more than that, I would LOVE to take him to the doctor and have him say "he's normal" for once. :)

But yesterday when Dr. Caldwell and I had our morning chat (seriously who talks to the pediatrician every morning when their kiddo seems as healthy as ours), but while were chatting I asked if there was anyway this is just how little man breathes and maybe this is all his normal. The doctor kindly informed me we have to stay focused because this is not normal and we need to figure it out. Bummer.

So if you think of it be praying for our little guy tomorrow. Please pray that it will all just be reflux and nothing more serious. Or that I'd this doesn't show answers that the Lord will guide these doctors to a diagnosis quickly if there is something going on. (I would totally be cool with hearing- "we don't know why but he's just a fast breather, nothing to be worried about!") It seems so silly to do all these tests when he seems to be fine on a day to day basis, but if two different doctors are concerned I'm going to trust them, and we're going to do whatever they ask. :)

Thanks yall! Have a great night!

Last Week

We just got back home from a week away in Indiana. Brad's sweet grandmother, Grandma Jean, passed away and we were able to go home for her funeral, and to spend time with our families. While we were so sad to say goodbye to Grandma Jean, it was a neat time of celebration of her life, and to spend time with family from across the country. We are so blessed to have families that are just A-MAZING. We're thankful!


We were able to sneak a visit in to see Uncle Luke while we were home. Noah LOVED that!

We also were able to head down to Indy area to celebrate sweet Nora turning 1! It was so great getting to spend time with some great friends from home! We were even able to see El and Austin, and Jackie and Alex which was awesome! I think these kind of reunions should happen more often! :)







Back home in Austin we, of course, headed right on out to the Big T when we landed! Missed those sweet peeps out there in the big T!

Today, Noah spent another 2 hours at Dr. Caldwell's. The lab tech offered to pitch us a tent so we could just move in. Sad truth that we are there that often. That they know us by name. Noah just walks around like he owns the place. He was out exploring when Dr. Caldwell came out of a room and little man got the biggest smile on his face. Even Noah knows that guy is fantastic. This time our dude scored a visit with an ENT for possible tubes in his ear (THANK GOODNESS) so hopefully in April we'll have a plan for that. Dr. Caldwell really feels this is all reflux so we are praying that the scope/swallow study will show this to be true.

On another note, it's funny how even after almost 5 years here in Texas, two different places can feel like home. On Monday, when we landed, it was like a *sigh* "Home!" We had a wonderful week and we were so sad leaving....but then we landed in Austin, and again *sigh* "Home!" (I'm not sure how to type out what I mean by those-hope it makes sense) We went out to Taylor, made nachos with our community group, put the kids to bed, and sat around on the ground eating from the same tray talking and laughing. And I thought...holy cow. How cool, and yet so strange, to feel so at home in two completely different places. Weird. But very cool, and super thankful for friends and family across the country that we love.

That's it. Probably time to unpack. :) Hope you have a great week!

Can I just share with you...

Can I just share with you the way my brain works?

Just for a sec. Please don't judge the crazy...apparently when it's my child...I am able to get to crazy town very easily.

So the meds didn't make a difference for Noah this weekend - which I gotta say...is a tad discouraging.

Now..he's not any worse..at all. He just rides right at the same speed...breathing like a crazy man. At least 60 breaths/minute. Try that for a few minutes...you'll be dizzy.

So anyways...our little trooper continues to truck along with no change..and Mama and Daddy don't dig it.

Our pediatrician called on Monday to ask if there were any changes, and when I told him no, he told me to call the pulmonologist and let him know because we should have noticed significant differences.

So I did...and then my brain went crazy while I was waiting on them to call back.

Before I spoke to the doctor..I had almost convinced myself that Noah had diabetes. Diabetes...trust me..that's not a respiratory issue. :)

Let me just show you how I got there:
Noah has been breathing fast for weeks...but the last couple of days had gotten faster again.
He had been started on a steroid..which elevates blood sugar
Then Noah started leaking through is diapers overnight (like DUMPING urine-or so it seemed to me)
One of the symptoms of diabetes is frequent urination...so I thought that was what was happening
So I thought maybe because Noah was diabetic...and we were giving him steroids...we were sending him into DKA so he was working super hard to compensate using his respiratory system. (that goes a little deeper medically than you probably care about..but I was sure.)

I then called Brad and shared my fears. You can imagine that was well received. Hahaha.

Thankfully one of our dear friends is a doctor that I work with at the hospital..so I called him..and he talked me out of the crazy. A little medical reasoning from someone much smarter than myself and I was back to rational.

And thank goodness for that because when the nurse called back from the pulmonologist she definitely didn't need to have to deal with my crazy.

So anyways..we're kinda back to square one...little man had a chest xray yesterday which thankfully didn't show anything concerning...the downside to that is..no answers. So Noah will now have to have an upper GI endoscopy, and a swallow study to evaluate for reflux. This was ordered by the pulmonologist; however, Dr. Caldwell had also mentioned reflux yesterday when we spoke (don't you worry- that awesome dude has called Friday, Monday, and today to check on our little man) and today when we spoke he felt this was a good plan. So now we are just waiting for it to be scheduled.

Interestingly, Dr. Caldwell told me about 60% of people with asthma also have reflux...so maybe that's where we're headed. I can totally handle those...they are treatable.

So we are praying for answers..and we are thanking the Lord daily that while Noah isn't exactly as healthy as a horse as we would prefer..he's safe and happy and we're working towards answers. Plus..whatever this is totally doesn't affect his day...he is a playful crazy little man - so active and fun. I'm so thankful for that!

Anyways..that's it for tonight. Just wanted to share how my silly mind works. We're super excited because tomorrow we're having a play day with some friends and taking the kiddos to the zoo. So much fun! Have a great week!

A good doctor.

I am so so so thankful for Noah's pediatrician. He is awesome. I've mentioned it before. But he's just great.

Noah has been ROCKED by RSV. He was diagnosed Feb 13th, and we are still fighting off symptoms. It has been rough. We've been to the doctor like once a week for the last month, and today we had to go again. Noah was again breathing in the 60-80 breaths/minute range today, and our doctor decided he wanted Noah to see a pulmonologist, and he wanted him to see one today.

So that AWESOME man called one...and made it clear he wanted Noah seen today. Well they were super busy and overbooked apparently today, but because of the way Dr. Caldwell advocated for Noah he got us in today. The on-call doctor left the hospital to see us at an office where no other kiddos were even seen today. Just us.

AMAZING.

I am so very thankful for a doctor who takes the time to care for our little man so well. It's just phenomenal.

I'm also super thankful to have seen a pulmonologist. It looks like it's all still symptoms remaining from the RSV...and he wrote us some prescriptions and he thinks after this weekend Noah should really be feeling better...but he also told me that it looks like little man could be at risk for asthma. He thinks a month from now..if we come off the steroids and sweet boy starts wheezing again that he will most likely score himself the diagnosis of asthma. Isn't that fun? I really hope that we'll see some results soon, but either way we're so thankful for awesome doctors. Both of them. The pulmonologist took such care to listen and get the whole picture and history correctly, and the fact that Dr. Caldwell is so amazing. I'm thankful.

2 stories from today:

1. I had to go to this tiny pharmacy in Pflugerville to get a nebulizer for Noah's medd. Hello small town they knew the other customers by name, and the pharmacist himself walked me out to the car so I didn't have to carry the nebulizer and Noah. I love Texas.

2. Noah and I were at to doctor ALL day. And mama had to tinkle. So I had to take Noah with me. Well he was walking around the bathroom and I was getting ready to wash my hands and BAM face plant. Noah started screaming and there was blood on the floor and then he was crying so it was on the sink and the mirror, and I'm trying not to cry for feeling like a failure of a mother while hugging sweet Noah. Blood on both of us. So I got us all cleaned up and then went back to the office so embarrassed. Hahahahah. All is well. I still can't tell what was even bleeding on Noah. He doesnt even have a bump on his lip. He very quickly recovered. But let me tell you...it was a day!

Alright.

So I have a little bit of time, so I'm going to write one on the rest of our life, in bullet points.

• House Situation: We're still in the apartment. We're both ready to be done with it. The apartment itself is great. Living with the LOUD music above us, and our neighbor's fighting at 5am and waking us up, and the toys that are overtaking us in our little space...we're just ready. We have been on hold on the house hunt after a discouraging fall of not finding any. So far we put an offer on one, didn't have time to make an offer on one before it sold, and had to decide the money wasn't worth it on another we liked. There are plenty that I do like- which of course are out of the price range we want to land in. So we had a heart to heart, and are going back at it with open minds and hearts. We aren't completely against leasing a house if we don't find one to buy, but we are most definitely moving to Taylor by June, and we will be in a house not an apartment. That's what we have decided. So Saturday we're out to try again, and we're really hoping one of the homes will be the one!

• Work: My job has been INSANE lately. Our hospital is so full, and we've had some really sick sad cases lately...so it's been tough. 3 of my last 4 shifts I clocked out at 8:30 or later. R-O-U-G-H. (My shift ends at 6:30) I'm so thankful that I'm only working the one day a week, because I feel for my coworkers that are working full time..I know they are just exhausted. Brad's company is in a time of transition and we're excited to see what's to come there.
  

• Life: We are currently in the process of getting our license for foster care. If y'all remember we started this process back in 2010, but took a break when we found out we were going to have little man joining us. Well the classes started again in January, and we felt it was time. We're pretty pumped because we're both on the same page for the first time about this. So currently we're working on our home study, we have a home visit scheduled to go over what all needs to be done to get it ready to pass the home study, and our classes are all finished up. Hopefully by sometime this summer (all this kinda depends on where we're living) we'll be opening up our home to kiddos. We still don't know exactly what it will look like for us. We don't really feel ready to take a child older than Noah, and the idea of adding another younger than him makes me nervous. However, I know that's just a fear response..because I know we can do it, and I know this is where we're being called. So I'm super excited.

I know there is more...but I need to be done with this for the night. I'm working on getting into bed at a decent hour so that I have more energy during the day for our little guy. Plus the grocery calls my name early in the am. Have a great night!

P-A-R-T-Y!

So someone we know had a birthday...so we threw him a little party! It was so fun! The sweet Mullins' fam let us take over their home for the afternoon as our place is a little on the smaller side, and we had a great time! Both Brad and my parents were able to be here for the weekend..and Noah LOVED having his grandparents here to party with. It was so much fun to have everyone here...we look forward to the next time y'all come that we'll have a house so we can all stay in one place! :)

We did a red wagon "theme" although it really turned out to just be a blue/red theme, with a red wagon that the kiddos were pulled around in all day. (total hit there!) Brad and I decided (really I decided and Brad went with it) to make Noah a little red wagon cake ourselves for him to break into. Dad baked it for me on Friday because I was working and knew I would just be beat when I got home from work. After I got home, I made some icing up and we cut that little cake up, shaped it, and iced it. I was so proud. I'm NOT a baker, or an artist. That is for sure. So I was super proud of our work. Brad and my parents admitted they had their doubts- they didn't understand how I planned to make it into a wagon- so I was glad it turned out!

But then, we sang to sweet Noah at the party and he didn't want anything to do with the cake. He looked at it and put his finger on it, and made this face like he was so distraught that we were asking him to eat something like that. :) Oh well. He took a few bites of it later and then tried to steal my cupcake away from me later on. So I guess he lived.


Anyways it was so cool to celebrate our little man. I feel like I still haven't grasped that Noah is one. But we are LOVING it! He has taken off again in the development department.

Since turning one he has:
Started walking like a maniac (although we fall a lot and have more bumps and bruises than we had)
Holds the phone up to his ear like he's trying to talk on it
Recognizes more and more who you are talking to him about. When you ask him where someone is he'll look at them. (Such as where's daddy?) Before he just looked at me like I was crazy.
Has gotten super attached to Brad. When Brad goes into the bathroom for a shower in the morning if Noah sees him, he loses it. When Brad left earlier today to run an errand..Noah stood at the door and cried. I gotta be honest I was a little jealous..but it was SUPER sweet.
Really is understanding how things work more and more- and will work at something to figure it out until he's gotten it. It's amazing watching his mind work
Drinking more the sippy cup
Helping feed himself. He can't get the food on the fork/spoon but if i get it on there he'll feed himself. Bibs have become ultra important.

So we're having a blast! Hope you're having a great week! Maybe someday I'll post about something other than our little guy...we'll see. :)