Wow.

Just time for a quick post.  

Let's talk reality for a second. 

Week three...a little rougher than the first 2 weeks. 

Could be my emotions are catching up with me being tired?  

I have broken down in many tears this week.  

Don't worry...I can look at those tears and see at most times they are completely irrational.  It's almost comical.  

Today has been full of them.  

I called Brad and told him I'm failing. 

Then I cried because as I was on the phone with Brad I looked out in the kitchen to find Noah climbing on the kitchen table to get an orange. 

Then Noah, as he was bolting down the stairs...in the correct way on his belly like I asked him...got too excited and rolled down our stairs.  So I cried again because I thought he was hurt.  He wasn't. 

Then he ran into the street.  I had to leave Abby's carseat in the middle of the front yard..and run out to get him.  (At this point..I'm pretty sure our neighbor thought I was a crazy woman because she saw that whole scene and came over to help with Abby) Surprisingly, I didn't cry at this point.

After this...I called Sarah.  Told her I feel like I'm failing.  Cried some more.  

Got to Target..decided to a healthy and wholesome lunch at Target because it took me until 11:30 to get all three of us out of the house.  Lunch was great and I thought..."YES!!  We're doing it!!"

And then after lunch...as we were picking up what we needed for Target...Noah threw the tantrum of all tantrums.  He screamed No over and over..and then he tried to hit me.  All while I am trying to keep my cool and discipline him ...and also while trying VERY HARD not to just give in to him and give him the phone which is what he wanted in the first place.  But I KNOW that I have to stand firm...so that means dealing with utter humiliation.  The obvious stares from all the people thinking my toddler is out of control, and the cashier who was ANYTHING but friendly, or really helpful.  I seriously think my face was so red ..I don't even know.  I was so embarrassed.  Seriously...he kept throwing that fit all the way until we stopped at a stoplight and we had a talk and he wanted to hold my hand...and oh how quickly it was all forgiven.  But wow.  

Then there was Austin like traffic on the ONE ROAD we had to take to get home.  So Abby girl started screaming because it was time for her to eat, and I'm begging Noah to stay awake just long enough to get home so we can nap.  

So here's my thought for the day...why on earth did I think today should be my first time to brave Target with the two of them?  

On the upside: 

Noah is sleeping soundly now.

Abbs is too.  

They are precious to me. 

Our double stroller rocks.  (Thank you Mom and Dad)

It's not really that hard to go out with both..just going to have to try again.  

To be fair to our toddler man.  He has been adjusting fabulously since Abby has been here...he really hasn't been throwing tantrums at all.  Last night he woke up screaming after what I can only guess was a bad dream, and then he got up pretty early this morning.  He had also fallen asleep by the time we got to Target today...but there was no way we were getting out and not actually going into target.  So I had to wake him.  So there were reasons for the crazy.  

It's Friday.  So our main man, Brad, will be home with us for the weekend. 

We get to meet El and Ryan's sweet baby Olivia and see sweet Austin this weekend! :)

We're going to look at houses this weekend!

YAY!!

I am so thankful that today is not the end of the world.  And for my family who talk me off the crazy ledge. And for Jesus, who I know walks with me every step of the way. Oh so so thankful!

P.S. I also know I am not failing.  That's irrational Rachael speaking! 

Have a great week!